A couple of months before Rick passed away, he thought we should cancel our Netflix subscription. We were definitely hard up for cash and pinching pennies, but to me, sitting on the couch together having a good laugh (or cry) over a movie was one of the last activities we could still do together.
I won that tiny battle, and we kept the subscription, curling up on the couch at night with our movies. Some were ones I wanted him to see, others ones he wanted me to see, some were movies we both loved as kids. After he died, the movies kept coming, and every now and then I make some time to watch one of them. When movies that were his choice arrive, Im often surprised at the relevance of their content. Movies about love, and loss, and not being afraid. And sometimes, like today, a movie comes that I just cant figure out. My husband had a silly and sometimes dry sense of humor, and as I sat here today watching "Im Gonna Git You Sucka", a movie I'd never seen before, I can hear my husband's funny little giggle.
And maybe thats all the movie has to do- remind me of his laugh. Im glad for the nights we sat with the laptop, adding tons of movies to the queue, and that the movies he picked are still coming to the house these 5 months later. Sometimes he reminds me that everything is ok. That I will be ok. And that through the sadness, its still ok to laugh.
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