The Supporting Actor

Things have been somewhat quiet on the BRICKS front, but thats because we're so hard at work! Til we have more news for you, I thought it would be nice to share an excerpt from the BRICKS for Young Adults Cancer Awareness & Resource Guide, written by my dear friend and young cancer widower, Stuart Boslow. Stuart talks candidly about figuring out his role after his partner Jason was diagnosed with cancer in his story, The Supporting Actor: Becoming the Caregiver:


In April 2008, Jason found something unusual under his right armpit. He called me to come over to feel it for myself. I still remember the first time I put my hand on his body and felt the mass underneath his skin. I tried my hardest not to over react, but feeling that thing scared me immediately. We discussed the possibilities, and I told him he needed to go have it checked out. It was biopsied in early May, but it was not until May 28, 2008 that we found out the worst-case scenario. It was Burkitt’s lymphoma—a highly aggressive and often deadly form of non-Hodgkins lymphoma.

The months that followed felt as if they were going by so fast. Looking back now at every step, it feels like time stood still at times. I remember many days spent sitting in the infusion room just watching his drips, wondering when we’d be released to go back to our lives away from cancer. I would find myself counting each drip, trying to estimate the hours, minutes, and seconds until we would be free.

When Jason wasn’t sleeping, we would play cards—usually Gin or Rummy— to help pass the time. We also became very familiar with TLC and HGTV shows. We sought humor during those extra long days at the infusion lab. Humor became a big part of Jason’s treatment to the point even the doctors and nurses were involved. They would stop by to chat with us, and before too long, Jason would crack a joke at the nurse’s expense, and then everything was fair game. Those days, which at first seemed they would be long and horrible, actually turned out to be some of the most memorable days of the whole thing.