Fresh Widow

Thanks to my fancy blog stats tracker I can see where people are finding out about me, and kept seeing this "freshwidow" blog come up, which has a link to my blog, so I decided to check it out. Wow. WOW. What a lady. I have been reading backwards through the blog, and having a good time doing it. She too lost her husband to cancer, but didnt start blogging until much later. Now, theres this massive collection of posts about her journey over the last couple of years.

I was especially taken by the post Grieving: How We Survived the First Year+.. At 7 months in, I could really go down that list and check off all of the things I myself have been doing, and it made me feel a little more normal to know I wasnt the only one whose done these things, as good or bad as they may be.

The blog has lots of tips and ideas for friends of widows, and lots of things to laugh and cry about for those of us who are traveling the same road as Fresh. Her style and wit are evident in how she describes herself:

I identify as a young remarried widow and Mom to a 5-year-old. Our loss was in June 2006. I see widowhood as an experience, not a label. Loss is something you get through -- not over. "Closure" is so Hollywood. Some of us may turn lucky enough to use what we've been through as a springboard for revelation, renewal, or reinvention.

Enjoy.

What now, not what if

Its an inevitable temptation, to ask questions-

What if Rick had health insurance?

What if he had a stem cell transplant last summer?

What if he was still alive?

We can ponder the answers and never come to any real conclusion, which truly, now, doesnt even matter. I've found in the last several weeks that I have to avoid the lure of thinking about these things, and focus more on a bigger question- What now?

This blog is the first step in answering that question.

There are many reasons why young adult cancer has lower survival rates than other demographic groups, one of which being that young adults are more often un- or underinsured. I can not say with any certainty that our family's outcome would have been different had Rick had health insurance (his doctor was amazing and made every option possible available to us), but we did learn how difficult it is to find health insurance or help paying for medications. Beyond that, lack of insurance coverage contributes to late diagnosis, which also impacts outcomes for young adults with cancer. 

So, now, it is our responsibility to advocate on behalf of those young adults for better health care options and access to care, to raise awareness of young adult cancers and the unique needs of those affected by it. The challenge is access- access to care, access to resources, access to each other.  As opportunities to get involved arise, I will post them here, so please check back often.