Its been a little while....

...since Ive written anything. Not so much for lack of things to say, but rather, lack of wanting to say it.

Last Thursday I sat down at my (well, Rick's) laptop, prepared to write about how that day marked exactly six months since his passing. I held my fingers over the keys, and nothing came. I couldnt do it. It just wasnt the thing to do, wasnt the time. It doesnt mean the event wasnt very much on my mind.

At our wedding, Rick chose a reading from a John Cage lecture, which has become more and more important to me over time. I chose a few lines from it to have printed on his 'prayer card' at his funeral. I want to share part of it with you, dear readers, because theyre the only words I have right now:

But now there are silences and the words make help make
the silences. I have nothing to say and I am saying it and that is poetry
as I need it. This space of time is organized. We need not fear
these silences we may love them.